Congratulations on your engagement! Do you know what you're getting into?

A good friend of mine announced today that she's engaged and I'm delighted for her. That being said, I immediately had the urge to give her some advice because for me, and I suspect many others, marriage hasn't been remotely easy or what I expected. So, to anyone who is contemplating marriage and wants to learn from my measly 10 years of experience here is my advice:

1. When you agree to marry someone, you're saying that you have inspected your future spouse and know that he or she is generally a good person that you enjoy being with. That's it. Over the years everything else will change and you will be required to adapt. Your spouse may get better or worse looking, may develop a new career or hobby or habit that you didn't see coming. Now, you can choose to complain about any and everything that bothers you and try to change your spouse but that's a bad idea and it will backfire. You and your spouse are each on a journey through life and it's your job to be your spouse's biggest fan as they go on their journey. So when he or she starts doing something you don't like, your job will be to mention it to them and then let it go. To protect your marriage, choose not to get upset about it. It's out of your control anyway.

2. Marriage is faith based. You need to trust that your spouse is a good person and then love them and respect them wholeheartedly. Don't tally things you don't like or wrongs that have been done to you. If you respect and love your spouse blindly, they will treat you better in return.

3. There will be days you want to punch, maim or divorce your spouse. It happens to us all. Just don't. It's that easy. The key to a successful marriage is to not get divorced. We've already established that your spouse is a good person. If you're upset about something, find a way to compromise or forget it. Don't hang on to your grievance until you're both treating each other without love and respect. It's hard to love and respect someone who has hurt you so take some time to think the injury through and let go of it.

4. Never treat your spouse with contempt. Never roll your eyes or give the silent treatment. These are petty and immature ways to deal with conflict and they will make it harder for you to solve whatever problem is bothering you.

5. Never make critical statements about your spouse's personality. For example, don't say, "You're so lazy." Instead, point to a specific action and say something like, "I didn't like it when you didn't take the trash out even though you promised to do it." Saying your spouse is lazy will get your spouse's attention but they will respect you less and ultimately it will make it they much harder to resolve your problem.

6. A man wants to be treated like a man and a woman wants to be treated like a woman. Never insult your man's masculinity or ability to provide for you. And men, make sure your woman feels sexy and pampered. This may be anti-feminist but regardless or workplace equality, we are still biologically and culturally different.

Overall, if you want to have a successful marriage, remember to focus on keeping your relationship with your spouse healthy rather than worrying about every little grievance. If you treat your spouse well, he or she will do the same back and you will be happier for it.